


Weaknesses

by DulcetDalliance



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Hate to Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-07-16 05:36:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7254457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DulcetDalliance/pseuds/DulcetDalliance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a failed assassination attempt, Kamui knows but one emotion when she first sees Saizo in the Hoshidan capital: fear.<br/>Yet, the ninja cannot help but end up by her side whenever anything befalls her. Call it a cruel fate, but he finds himself increasingly drawn in by her innocence and vigor, rebutted only by his own awareness of self-worth.<br/>When two opposite forces in parallel worlds touch, one must bend to the current, one must be weak- to let the other soar. </p><p>{Set in the Birthright path, but won't follow the plot points of the game}</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Malignancy

      She shuddered slightly, unaccustomed to the strange and sudden rush of heat that had taken her body in a frenzied fervor. The cold wood panels below her were like shocks to her uncovered feet, adding to the growing fatigue weighing on her chest. Her voice died in her throat, almost as if she wasn't screaming for help just a minute ago. Her hands clenched and unclenched, causing the thick layers of blood on them to deluge onto the floor, making a viscid sound. Whose blood was it again? Her own? The man that had fled through the window behind her? A mixture of both?

      He took several silent strides over to her, and she saw fully the details of the garish scar across his face. Every ridge and lash of his closed eye. Her gaze traveled over to his one alert eye, seemingly cold and unforgiving, one that seemed to be void of love for anything but the loyalty to his duties. 

      He reached to inspect the wound across her shoulder, brows furrowing at her hand that covered it. She gasped silently, barely taking in air, but the sudden rise of her chest gave it away. Saizo's trained and attentive eye caught the motion and he immediately halted his actions. He withdrew his hand and cautiously rose back up to his full height, which seemed to loom over Kamui so much more with his aggravated demeanor. 

      "What troubles you, Lady Kamui?" he inquired gruffly, a twinge of impatience and bewilderment seemed to lace his tone. 

      Kamui tensed up, involuntarily pressing onto her wound harder, causing her to yelp a little in pain. The edges of her vision grew dim as the heat around her grew. Her shuddering increased in magnitude, legs barely keeping her up. Saizo's brow furrowed deeper at this. 

      "Lady Kamui? What on earth happened to you?" he asked with more urgency, extending a hand again. 

      It seemed childish, Kamui thought, to be so afraid of this man that only wanted to help. Yet she knew she did not have his trust, why would he—

      "Lady Kamui?!" 

      Kamui felt a burning in her throat, her eyelids fluttered heavily, the intervals between them parting again grower longer. She could summon no strength, as if her muscles had been torn loose; yet her stomach tensed and contracted as did her throat. She did not hear herself gasping for air, she only heard her incessant heartbeat, increasing in pace, war drums in her ears. The sound of a million footsteps, all headed towards her. All headed ever forward to what she could not see.

      Saizo kept her from falling into a heap on the floor with his arms. Her eyes seemed distant and her writhing grew erratic. The wheezes and gasps from her throat increased in intensity as did the clawing at her chest plate.  He held her across his lap, supporting her head with one hand, swiftly unclasping the armor and letting it loose. Suspecting this was being caused by something more than just a flesh wound, he reached into the exact pouch on his leg that he knew contained herbal poison counteractants and took out several. He pushed one stalk into her mouth and forced her to swallow, gloves tracing down her neck. She writhed and gave a quiet guttural cry, her eyes growing more distant by the second. 

      Kaze ran in at that moment, wildly rushing to his brother's side, full of accusations but mostly fear. He knew Saizo did not trust the formerly-Nohrian princess, and he had not dared imagine why he was following her the past few days, but this seemed all too horrific for an honorable ninja. 

      "What are you doing?!" Kaze hissed.

      Hurriedly and spitefully pushing his twin aside, Kaze scooped Kamui up by her knees and broke off into a mad run to the infirmary, not stopping for Saizo's answer. Saizo hesitated a moment before quickly following, growling underneath his mask. If the blame fell onto him, well, he would never hear the end of it, he had to set this straight. 

 

* * *

 

      The infirmary was stuffy and filled, the murmurs and held breaths of the royal family and their retainers becoming the air of the room. Sakura held her focus, holding her stave above her dear sister's chest, quietly whispering incantations. The wheezing had stopped, as well as the writhing. In fact, most movement had ceased with the exception of the slow and slight rise and fall of her trembling chest. Kamui's face was ghostly pale, the only color being in her torn lips from gnashing at them in response to the pain. The contrast of milk to blood, it seemed.

  
      The emerald glow faded from the ornate walls as Sakura finished her healing ritual. Giving a traditional bow, she stepped aside so Kaze could inspect her. In one hand he gripped the herbs Saizo had handed him after his concise explanation of the reactions to poison and how he was merely checking on her after he heard a commotion before she had collapsed. He made his innocence crystal clear to him before disappearing into the trees to scout for the guilty.

  
      Sakura had confirmed that it was indeed a poison, and Kaze could not help but be slightly impressed at his brother's abilities to quickly assess a situation and to produce a solution for it.

      Kaze asked for warm water to dissolve the medicine in and went to work right away. Once the concoction was meticulously made, he gingerly raised her head slightly and opened her lips. He poured it down slowly, massaging her throat so that she would swallow. Kamui coughed a bit, still between consciousness and void, before Kaze set her down again.

      A collective feeling of relief filled the room as Kamui's breathing started to settle, her brows unfurling and face relaxing.  
Saizo watched from the window, allowing his expression to soften a bit as he saw she was stable. Refusing to dwell on it longer, he set out again to hunt for the perpetrator who had caused such a debacle. Nohrian or not, Kamui was a princess of the royal family now, and that meant Lord Ryoma's sister. He would bring down any threat to Hoshido, no questions asked. It had only been two days since Kamui arrived in Hoshido after being retrieved by Rinkah and Kaze from Nohr. No place in his heart held trust for the princess, it was too soon to let his guard down, yet he was duty-bound to preserve her life at all costs. An assassination attempt so early in her arrival was catastrophic, shameful even, to Saizo's reputation of being on top of the royal family's safety. No questions asked, a would-be assassin would die tonight. 

 

* * *

 

      A soft breeze tickled Kamui's cheek. Her eyes broke open with a slight start. Her throat felt sore and her insides seemed to be boiling, but the cold breeze did her well. She lifted her gaze to the dark figure in the corner, unsure of whether to speak or to resume rest. Collecting her thoughts for a second, she cleared her mind before deciding to speak.  
   

      "Is that you...Kaze?" she managed barely a whisper, finding her whole body hurt and grew fatigued from merely speaking.

      The figure shifted in what she thought was surprise before it stepped into the candlelight.

      It was the deepest of night in Hoshido, and she could spot stars from behind the figure's shoulder from where he opened a small window to let in fresh air.

      To her surprise, it was not the soft-hearted Kaze who stood there, but his intimidating brother, Saizo. His arms were crossed, displaying his full set of muscles, rippling under the fabric of his sleeves as he held them tighter.  
     

      "No, Lady Kamui. Sorry to disappoint."

      She thought she sensed playfulness in his tone but her mind was too tired to process it. She merely closed her eyes and let out a deep breath.

      "I was worried it was them again...thank goodness..." she let out in a hushed voice, "it's good knowing you are here—I feel at ease.." she took another deep breath, smelling the scent of the cherry blossom trees outside waft in like fresh snow. "I found myself looking for you when they found me...and you were still there...like my shadow."

      She seemed to be talking half in her sleep and her eyes wandered aimlessly.

      Saizo stepped forward, ears perked to the new information.

      "Who found you?"

      Kamui screwed her eyes closed.

      "Don't know..."

      "Don't know?"

      "...but they know me, I think. He look..familiar..." Her words grew more broken as she felt the caress of sleep lull her more with the sense of security to back it.

      The bastard who tried to kill the woman before him had evaded him the whole evening, and just as he was preparing to venture into the city to scout, Kaze stopped him, telling him to take the night shift to take care of Kamui. Sure, it had hurt his pride, but he was not about to give up just yet. Losing patience, Saizo gripped her arm and leaned forward.

      "Who?" he demanded.

  
      Kamui's eyes snapped open in alarm, instinctively rising up into a sitting position. Her head collided with his, lips accidentally grazing his scar. He froze.  
She did not seem to notice what happened, only groaning as her body went weak again. She fell onto her back and passed out for good, leaving a stunned and heavily burdened Saizo.

      He narrowed his eyes, he was such a fool for thinking this vixen would be able to give him information, it was probably just the poison playing with her mind. Yet, he didn't feel satisfied at all, and even more so, he felt a deep shame. He, a lowly ninja sent only to kill and deceive for life, taking something as innocent as an accidental kiss from a naïve girl who could very well be feigning ignorance to bring Hoshido to ruin, it was unheard of. Despite the disgust resting in his stomach, his face reddened underneath his mask and he found himself holding his scar. They were so soft against his rough scarred skin. Like two fresh flowers alight a charred forest. How long had he not felt anything but the wetness of rain and blood or the harshness of sun and sand against that brow?

      The hardened ninja was driven into a stupor. He stumbled back to take a seat, hand still tracing his scar. Why did it have to be there? He found himself cursing. It was embarrassing to be so put off by this, especially since it was accidental, but for the first time in years Saizo felt a sort of welling happiness. He gazed back at the slumbering figure of the princess before averting his gaze. He would never be worthy, but he grudgingly thanked her in his head for giving him so sweet an accidental gesture, and cursed her for being who she was and putting frivolous thoughts into his head.

     Saizo tore off his mask, finding it suddenly hard to breathe.

     He hadn't the heart to leave his shift however, and he doubted he could sleep much now, so he stayed and watched her, mind flipping viciously from his duties to her butterfly touch. He grimaced and massaged his exposed jaw, this was going to be a very long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been trying to organize this into a fic for a long time so I'm super excited to finally post this! Please be sure to leave a comment, it's honestly the fuel for me to write hahaha


	2. Moirai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kamui's dragon blood goes berserk in the Hoshidan capital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: mentions of suicide, no actual suicide but thoughts of it

      The silent breeze that tickled the cheek of many a vendor and child with perfumed blossom kisses grew stale. The day's golden light trickled beyond the broken horizon, casting fleeting shadows at the feet of the few who remained standing. Bodies strewn across the floor grew colder and the flames of decimated structures grew higher. Saizo could barely register the events that had occurred merely seconds before he arrived. Now, Kamui sat crumpled, visibly shaking and at a loss for words. The uneven floor beneath her threatened to force the figure in her hands to slip away. The figure's golden crown slipped from her raven hair and clattered with finality to the awaiting stone beneath. The unearthly echo of metal meeting the ground shook Saizo to the core. Despite this, the unbreakable silence remained.

      "N...no..." a shaky breath lifted itself through the heavy air. Its owner curled her fingers around the limp shoulder that rested on her lap. "M-mother...?"

      The ninja found he could not move. He stayed rooted to the fractured earth, alert eye tracing Kamui's trembling lips as she held the fallen Queen of Hoshido in her delicate hands. Ryoma stood in the distance, holding the timid Sakura back, himself being on the verge of breaking.

      "Mother...?" Kamui dared ask the question again, hoping for any reply. She raised her head and looked blankly at the sky, a half-formed frown tugging her lips. 

      The scream came not a moment too soon. It pierced the silence like a revenge-driven blade, and rattled the ears of those struggling for breath among the fray. It uttered the one thing she had searched for, and the one thing she had lost. 

       **"MOTHER!!"**

The savagery and rawness of her voice instilled the sense back into Saizo, and he made his way over to his armor-clad liege with no delay. Yet there was nothing to say, and they simply watched.

      Kamui dropped the queen to the floor, gasping for air as she began to writhe, curling all her appendages towards herself as another scream built inside her plated chest. 

      They could not fathom what they saw next. 

 

      The beast emerged from violently reeling tendrils of repugnant smoke, it reared its head, it let its entire essence fill the cry that resonated from its maw. A maw like death.

      Saizo readied his weapon, and his liege, with quick resolve and the head of a leader, darted towards the hooded man he took was responsible for this calamity. The masked ninja tried to believe the monster before him was indeed the woman he tended to in the infirmary just the other night. The feathery brow that he wiped with a cautious touch when sweat accumulated on it, the rose tinted lips that pursed when another bout of the poison came up, the muscled yet small and smooth arms that he rested his hands on as she continued to sleep, plagued by dreams. This was something entirely different. 

      Just then, almost as if appearing from the air itself, soldiers lined the floor around the roaring beast. They were translucent in nature and seemed to ooze ill-intent. 

      This was the beginning of all fated things.

 

* * *

 

      All sense of reality had left him as he stared at the familiar yet displaced woman before him. In one hand, she clutched a small luminous stone, in another, her shaking fingers curled tightly around the physical manifestation of legends. The sword, Yato, from his stories as a child, glimmered in fading light before him, in the hands of the woman he could never bring himself to trust. She tried to look confident while holding the sword, yet he could clearly see she was not accustomed to the weight of it, and despite her daring proclamation as a leader, he saw permeating fear in her crimson eyes. Eyes that ended up on him, of all people, as she raised Yato to the last bit of light. Her unwavering stare resounded with him. It was as if she was telling him all her fears in that moment. The flare in her eyes spoke novels of her insecurity, and she rested it all with him. And for whatever known reason, Saizo accepted it. 

      Damn it all, he accepted the last thing he was ever permitted to as a man of the shadows. Her lips curled into a half smile as his gaze did not break from hers. He felt the cold ghosts of dependency and trust permeate through him as her spirit latched onto his. This was a matter of prophecy and of the world, but why, of all things, Saizo cursed to himself, did the universe pick her? Let alone his involvement with her already, he wanted anything but this, but every fiber of his being lived and soared in that moment as night landed softly over them. As her now-burning gaze broke from his and rested on the golden blade, the masked ninja felt a strange tug in his heart, like a connection had been severed somewhere in his body.

     A connection.

     No, he could not let this happen.

     No ties, no regrets, no feelings.

     ...but a connection..

     Saizo grunted and turned away from the sight of the radiantly cursed woman before them all, and like he had a thousand times before, he disappeared.

 

* * *

 

 

     Kamui danced one finger over the heavy sword in her lap, as if creating rivers with every path she made down the shaft of the blade, dripping down to its side. She could hardly believe the way things had turned out to be. Anything that occurred of late only seemed to be a fantasy in her head, like the ones she would concoct in her dreary room at the fort she had called her home. Now, some terrible dark force had taken the protagonist, and as all stories do, drama was spun into the mix and the protagonist found themselves losing all identity and their mother...with a destined sword to bring about all the good in the world...

     Her finger stopped its rivets around the polished glassy red stones inlaid in the hilt of the sword and she snapped her head up to meet the distant yet discerning eyes of her older brother, Ryoma. He sat across her in the abandoned room, the drawings and dolls that had once littered the floor were cast aside, and an empty chill whispered around what was left in the center of it all. She was no longer a child, she could not hide behind fantasy. Kamui knew she had to face facts, and the fact was, she had thrown herself into a world she was not ready for by accepting the Yato. Heroes were not simply bursting with confidence and resolve from the get-go as Kamui believed. Heroes had it beaten into them. And the Nohrian Princess did not know if she could take hers any longer.

     Outside a steady rain ensued, casting strange shadows in the unlit room. She could not recall ever growing up in this room as a child, and she was not sure if she wanted to if it had always felt this despairing. Ryoma cleared his throat, finally breaking the silence that had settled in the moment they returned to the castle. Kamui put down Yato and met his eyes once again, unsettled by the dark shade they had taken on. She felt her shoulders twitch as a loud thwack resounded outside her window.

     On the march back, Takumi had broken into a sprint the moment the castle was in view. He had stayed silent the longest of all the siblings, and now, even through the rain, she could hear him some stories below in the courtyard, drenched and not caring, cursing into the downpour. Every piercing thud from his arrow repeatedly hitting its mark made her feel like those should be embedded in her own chest. There was no running from the fact that before she had killed her birth mother that she never knew, she had killed the mother Takumi had known his whole life. 

     "Don't..." Ryoma sighed deeply and uncrossed his arms, lowering his gaze before trying again, "do not blame yourself, Kamui."

     That was the last thing she needed to hear. She stood with Yato, alarming Ryoma, and marched past him and through the door, down the stairs, into the courtyard. Before she approached the end of the hallway and dove into the rain, Kamui dropped her sword onto the stone below her. The young prince who was hunched over quickly turned to her and scowled. His hair had come undone and dripped in strands over his face and shoulders, creating grey cracks along his figure like a broken porcelain doll. The vivid fury in his melted amber eyes froze Kamui for a second before she regained herself and stepped into the rain. 

     "Takumi..." she started, before he interrupted her with a hand. His eyes flashed and she held her breath.

     "You," she barely moved as he quickly raised his bow and notched another light-strung arrow, this time in her direction. "How  **DARE** you show your face here?!" 

     She raised her hands in defeat, there was not much she could do, not that she wanted to either, she had lowered Yato as an act of resignation. "It would be easier if I were dead, wouldn't it, brother?"

     "Don't call me that! You have no right!!" he drew the hand gripped around the arrow further back viciously, yet through the disparity of the rain, she could see his arms trembling. 

     She started to feel the wet drops of rain slip under her armor to the warm cloth underneath, the sick beating heart that should not be protected rested beneath it all, and each pulse of it made her feel sick. Where was that resolve she had earlier? As she had held the legendary sword she felt like she could do anything, to bring about a change so that more innocents would not be harmed because of her. King Garon, the war that was about to be waged, everything, she felt as if her say in it could change the spindle-like threads of fate. Yet the web ran deep, and in far more complex manners than she knew, that was all she could think of as Takumi's rage made the brilliant bow glow brighter. All she felt in the stead of her hero's confidence, was the urge to die. 

     Her eyes flitted up to meet her long lost brother's own gaze and he shifted slightly, some nerves mixing with his rage. She found no hope, and she had resigned so quickly at that. How could one who gave up her calling so early in the game even stand in the long run? She was worthless. A burden. If one less dragon lived in the world, it would be a blessed thing.

     "Brother," she pleaded, he clenched his teeth, fingers starting to strain. "I..I am sorry. Know that before you-" 

     Something jerked violently inside Kamui and she doubled over herself, suddenly breathless. Frantically, the princess formulated the possibility of another bout of poison making its way out of her system, but when she felt the uncomfortable tug turn into a tunneling rage deep within her, she knew it only had to be the dragon within her. It had been such a sudden revelation, that she could have harbored this being inside her this whole time, for it to only come out to ruin everything she held dear. Kamui felt the bones in her fingers rattle as claws inched out of them. She scraped lightly at her sides, huddling closer to herself in a desperate act to contain it.

 _Not now. Please_..Kamui bit down hard, she doubted Fujin Yumi could easily take down her dragon form if she lost it now. She thought only of how she could possibly die in her dragon form. 

     Takumi had not lowered his bow, breathing heavily as conflict brewed within him. The cowering figure before him, now was his chance, he had a perfect head shot, he could avenge his mother and all the innocents in town. He could-

     "TAKUMI!" a commanding voice split through the air and he immediately recognized it as his older brother's. He snapped to attention and lowered his bow on instinct. The realization of what he was about to do suddenly hit him and he felt his lips start to tremble. Discarding Fujin Yumi into a nearby bow stand, he faced his brother and opened his mouth to explain, but no words came forth to pardon him from his obvious intentions. Ryoma shot a knowing glare to his younger brother before rushing to the princess' side. She writhed against herself, head still lowered, and just as Ryoma was about to touch her shoulder, a familiar hand drew him back. 

     "My lord, I advise against this," Saizo growled a warning beneath his mask, urging his liege to step back.

     "I cannot leave my sister like this," he rose to argue but Kamui interjected. 

     "Big brother, it's fine.." she finally lifted her head and revealed the faintly glowing object between her clawed fingers. The claws were slowly receding to their original form and Saizo couldn't help but feel disgusted when he saw it. Kamui caught his stare and she quickly pushed her hands down against her cape, hiding them from view. She suddenly felt ugly and monstrous. 

     Takumi picked up his yumi and left them silently, casting one more glance at the sister he refused to accept before retreating into the dry hallway. His hair dripped profusely and left dark marks on the stone behind him as he walked. He felt horrid and inhuman. 

     With dragon blood still burning her veins, but the throbbing fading away, she watched the tall receding figure of Takumi disappear down the hallway. She twisted her fingers tighter around the warm illuminated stone that kept her at bay, oblivious to what Ryoma was yelling at her, oblivious even to the rain that now soaked her through. Her eyes stayed steady like a boat upon placid water as she watched Takumi leave.

     Saizo looked down at her again, offended that she did not respond to his lord, he felt the urge to strike her; but there was something haunting about how far away her gaze was, as if she peered into another world at that moment and just could not let it go. 

     She suddenly inhaled sharply and locked eyes with the silent ninja, the distant look burned away by her new molten gaze, startling Saizo if not more. 

     One feeling swelled above the rest as her dragonstone pulsed to the beat of her heart, slow and collected.

     "I can't die yet."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo Kamui is determined! Why? I don't know yet!! jk jk...I hope.  
> Some more HoshiBRO bonding before she makes the whole decision thing ohoho ;)  
> btw, fate is going to be a big topic in most of my fics bc I'm obsessed with the idea of it haha~  
> Anyway, look forward to a new chapter soon! I'm trying to write more this summer but AP homework is a painnnn, wish me luck!  
> And as always, please leave a comment to fuel my loser shipper needsss (☞◣д◢)☞  
> (ps, thanks sooooo much for all the support you guys have been showing so far! I'm excited for this fic hehe, sharin all the Saizo love)


	3. Arguere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize for the enormous absence, school proved to be more vicious than I thought haha. I recently started to binge in some Fates again, and it made me miss writing greatly. I read over my previous two chapters and I promise I can do better than that, it's embarrassing as it is to reread anything I wrote a year ago to be honest.  
> All that aside, I'm back! Hopefully for good, I need that satisfaction of finishing a fic under my belt.  
> Thanks for sticking by this work so faithfully!  
> I'll try my best not to disappoint.

     "Get up," a gruff voice stirred her from the haze of the morning, followed by a sharp prod to her arm.

     Kamui rose obediently, meeting the narrowed eye of her brother's faithful retainer. She met his gaze with little recognition, rather she treated the strange occurrence of being woken by someone she barely knew with a distanced formality. Sparing Saizo the process of furthering her rousing, the princess deftly stepped out of her futon and walked past the ninja. Only when she reached the far wall where her armor was piled did she turn to greet him.

     "Good morning to you as well," she said curtly, trying her hardest to not earn some satisfaction from Saizo's confused half-cocked brow. "Though I'm not sure why you are the one waking me, usually Jakob-" she stopped herself as a sudden bitter feeling settled in her gut. 

     Right, she was in Hoshido. Jakob was nowhere near her, nor were Felicia and Flora. The understated comforts she had at the otherwise dim and grisly fortress she had called her home were an unknown number of miles away from her. Kamui turned on her heels and faced her armor again, fingers inches away from Yato that rested against the wall. 

     "Again, sorry to disappoint, princess," he added the honorific with a scowl, "but Lord Ryoma insisted I stopped you from going out today..." he paused, "after what transpired yesterday."

     The princess shuddered as the events of the day before suddenly began to resurface in her memory. The pretense of a peaceful morning was interrupted with harsh reality. She was awful, fickle, and acting as if everything was fine. Sure, she had somehow grazed a semblance of a meaning to continuing life as the Yato's warrior until its mission was carried out, but she still didn't know what half of her feelings meant. Her voracious need to have perished in the courtyard by the mercy of Fujin Yumi was still fresh in her mind. Only now, her cries seemed to merely echo those of a self-pitying child. Something had definitely changed yesterday.

     Without thinking, Kamui had already laced her fingers around Yato's hilt. It seemed to hum in response, easing her instantly. It had only been a day and one morning, and yet the bronze sword seemed to be a natural extension of her. 

     Saizo lowered one hand warily towards the holster on his thigh, ready to pull a kunai if she so much as raised the sword further. 

     Whirling around, she faced him with a calm demeanor, nothing threatening in her eyes, but Saizo could never be too cautious. She opened her mouth to speak, "Why wake me if you are here to simply imprison me in this room?"

     "A wench like you doesn't deserve sleep," he snapped back. His cruel words pricked Kamui in a way she didn't expect. "Besides, I have to leave soon for a more important mission, why would I waste my time smoothing the edges of your futon and patting your head until you awoke?" His sarcastic tone dripped from his tongue and landed as acid on the aura of the morning. 

     Kamui tried her best not to take it all to heart as she often did, she needed to grow more resilient to his attacks if she was going to survive in Hoshido any longer with him. Shaking her head she gave Yato a spin with a roll of her wrist before placing it behind her. Outside, she could hear the murmurs of battle preparations and the general bustle of an entire castle preparing to move. She had heard something similar when she was given the news that King Garon approved of her leaving the fortress she was holed up in. It was all so exciting in the moment. Nothing seemed to excite her now as her perked ears picked up the commanding voice of her older brother, guiding troops into formation. Rather, she felt a burning urge to be out there with them, fate was taking her somewhere, she was sure of it. 

     "I wouldn't call waging war a mission."

      His eye narrowed, huffing impatiently. "I must go now, remain in your room or else, you've been warned." He started towards the door, just across where Kamui was standing with her sword.

     Kamui stepped deliberately in the ninja's way, using her sword to barricade the door. "I march with you, this sword is proof that I have meaning in this upcoming war, no matter where it is fared."

     Saizo growled. In one swift motion, he knocked Kamui into the doorpost and jammed a polished kunai into the wood beside her ear. Leaning in, he crumpled the collar of her nightgown under his fist, and raised it to the level of his throat. "Let me be clear, I do not wish to be anywhere near you, but duty requires I do so repeatedly. I am quite content in letting you go march like the half-wit you are in the front lines and getting yourself killed by a stray arrow or accidental stroke of a sword, but my lord refuses to allow such a thing. You may have faith in that so-called enchanted sword of yours to protect you, but I have seen how your arm shakes as you try to grip it, or how you fake your ease as its weight slowly drags you down. You may have a sudden confidence in your purpose or standing in this upcoming war, but I am here to tell you that," he pressed in further and tugged her collar harder, "you have no idea what you are doing with that sword, and that sword has no right of even being in the same room as a **monster** such as yourself." 

    He released the nightgown and stepped away. "If Yato chose an ignorant child, then I no longer believe the legends. A sword will not save us, especially if that sword's bearer is a half-formed bastard of a dragon. What will save us is your title alone, as it is bartered across enemy lines for a chance at peace. Understand your place, princess. You are simply a name that Hoshido will use to win."

    Saizo was gone before she could take another breath. The kunai was still pressed dangerously close to her ear. Yato's tip softly met the tatami mat on the floor as Kamui's arm lowered. She stared blankly at the space where the red-haired ninja had stood only seconds ago. Her ears burned and she felt a pitiful biting at the back of her eyes. Hurriedly, she turned, dropping Yato, to try the sliding door but Kamui was only met with a dull thud and a screen that would not budge. It had been fastened from the outside, and undoubtedly very meticulously so. 

     "Listen up men!" the distant call from outside her window settled into the room and swept against her feet. Something pushed her away from the door, backwards towards the sounds from the window. She bumped the sill with the small of her back and whipped around to look outside. Surely enough, the entire castle was assembled outside in the muddy courtyard. The rain had stopped late in the night and now the first blushes of sun warmed the trees surrounding the high walls. Lines of soldiers fell into quadrants, quadrants into a collective army. The early light reflected off their pristine plates of armor. She spotted a flash of carmine red as Ryoma paced before them, mouth animatedly forming words of both comfort and inspiration. It had already been decided that she was not to come. They were going to leave the gates in any second. The war would happen without her. For some unexplainable reason, Kamui found she could not accept that. Some mix of panic and complete rationality overtook the small girl. 

     She ran to her armor and fastened it all onto her with a practiced grace. Grabbing Yato from the ground, and double-checking that her dragonstone was safely hidden in the folds of her cloak, Kamui felt a clarity settling over her. This was right. 

     Without another thought, she hurled herself out the empty square where light had begun to come creeping in from outside. The tumbling only lasted a few seconds, ending with the solid feeling of roof tiles beneath uncovered feet. From her elevated point on the roofs of Shirasagi, Kamui glimpsed the army starting to shuffle out of the massive walls slowly.

     Refreshed with a new invigorating drive, Kamui burst into a smile despite herself. She saw the emptying courtyard with new eyes. Everything was in order, from the racks of practice swords, to the hand-combat lot, and even to the cluster of arrows jammed into a single target at the corner of the training ground. The arrows glistened with leftover rainwater, the feathers at the end, the fletchling, almost glowing in the morning light. Her eyes focused on the one thing out of place among the countless racks of theoretically harmless weapons: a gleaming bow almost double the size of the others in the rack, Fujin Yumi.

     "Well, there's my excuse for being a part of this war."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the somewhat short and stagnant chapter, I wrote this in a blurred hurry whilst trying to fight off sleep haha. I thought it'd be nice to have some more interaction between Saizo and Kamui before the big decision scene. I plan to write a battle for the next chapter, so keep an eye out for that in the next few days.  
> (Also I'll try to be a better writer and actually write drafts for my chapters...along with making an actual plan for this fic ahh..I usually run on sparks of inspiration but that's a bad habit, I'm trying my best to fight it off! And as always, thank you SO much for taking the time to read!)


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